Calma

This is the big day of days, I've put a lot of things off, until today. I have no choice until today, today I must DO ALL. it sounds like a lot and feels like a lot, but this is the most human of experiences. Doing everything last minute because we didn’t do it yesterday. And of course, what I am scared for my future and for me as a person, happens on the scariest night of the year. Halloween. 

What happens to me when I shoot is that life halts. At least that's how it feels, nothing else in the real world is happening, because I am acting, or I'm on set, or something else. That fiction was easy to live up to for a while, I was new to being on set, and being in a professional atmosphere. However, now that I have acted much more and am a little more comfy on set, I'm realizing life happens, it doesn't stop and it won't no matter how important we think whatever we are doing is.  For this very meaningful project (my first lead) I'm trying to still do me, not ONLY think about the shooting and my lines for the next four days, but still be able to operate as a human during shooting time. I wanna be able to still get a workout in, and have breakfast, and do all these things, whilst I have to go shoot in a couple of hours. That shouldn't be impossible but sometimes it feels like it is. With a 12-hour shoot day, it sure is, but I will make sure it isn't. I probably should be focusing on the film and how I'm going to perform but, I know myself, and knowing that my hands are clean and organized while I'm shooting, will help my brain be clean and organized, so I can FOCUS while I'm performing. 

Of course, I will document how it goes. The onto the Acting segment is gone, it will just be an element of this blog. Of course it is, that was the goal. but I'm just going to talk about my professional experiences, because I forgot, I'm an actor, how silly. 

Well, today in class we were working on separating the vocal from the physical. Learning lines with a partner, implementing changes of pitch, tempo, tone, dynamic timber, and then forgetting it. They create a completely unrelated physical of what seems like regular activities within a regular place. Now bringing them together, although they are unrelated, and figuring out ways to change both physical and vocal choices so they don't make sense. It's difficult, but even though the lines are about an argument, the physical blocking is me serving someone breakfast, not making it work, and exploring what feels like the raw materials of a scene, lines, letters within words, gestures, individual head movement, and beats. 

I guess we'll see if we get our stuff done.

its a couple hours before the shoot, I'm getting stuff done, hopefully...

i did get stuff done and then surprise surprise I had to shoot, EARLY! just one scene tho, we banged it out in a couple of hours on my way.

Thursday